One question can determine whether or not relationship counselling can be successful, and it is a question that can be asked from the outset. I always ask couples who come to see me for relationship counselling this question very early on in the first session, and I will stay with the question until a satisfactory answer is arrived at. If it is possible to do so that is. For without a positive answer to this question by both persons in the relationship, there is no guarantee that any amount of therapy will be able to help.
Ok, so you may argue that there can be no guarantees of the outcome of any therapy before it begins, and to some degree you would be correct. However it is my experience that a positive answer to this question almost always results in successful therapy for the relationship, however short or long it may be, or however easy or difficult the process may be.
A half-hearted answer is no good. Therapy can proceed when the answer is not completely satisfactory from both parties, but more often than not it is doomed to mediocrity, and will prove of small benefit to the relationship, if any.
A negative answer from one or both persons in the relationship can mean that the relationship is already over, even if that has not been realised yet. The best that relationship counselling can offer in these circumstances could be mediation and support with a mutually amicable separation. Which, being honest, is not really relationship counselling but something quite different.
A positive answer from both parties on the other hand, is fantastic and bodes so well for the future of the relationship. I believe that once this answer is a positive “yes” from both individuals, then the relationship can not only be saved, but can be improved upon to the point where both are happier than ever to be together.
What is this question? Well, it’s simple enough really.
“Do you want this relationship to work, and are you prepared to do what it takes to make it better?”
That’s it. That’s the big question that I want answered when you begin relationship therapy with me. If answered one way it can be the beginning of something very special. If answered another way, well, it may be very brief therapy indeed.
(Image: Muramasa)
A half-hearted answer is no good. Therapy can proceed when the answer is not completely satisfactory from both parties, but more often than not it is doomed to mediocrity, and will prove of small benefit to the relationship, if any.
A negative answer from one or both persons in the relationship can mean that the relationship is already over, even if that has not been realised yet. The best that relationship counselling can offer in these circumstances could be mediation and support with a mutually amicable separation. Which, being honest, is not really relationship counselling but something quite different.
A positive answer from both parties on the other hand, is fantastic and bodes so well for the future of the relationship. I believe that once this answer is a positive “yes” from both individuals, then the relationship can not only be saved, but can be improved upon to the point where both are happier than ever to be together.
What is this question? Well, it’s simple enough really.
“Do you want this relationship to work, and are you prepared to do what it takes to make it better?”
That’s it. That’s the big question that I want answered when you begin relationship therapy with me. If answered one way it can be the beginning of something very special. If answered another way, well, it may be very brief therapy indeed.
(Image: Muramasa)
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